Domestic Violence / Intimate Partner Violence : Identify the Problem and Make it Stop!
Every day in the news on the internet, TV, and newspapers, we read how Domestic / Intimate Partner Violence affects women, men and children lives in very tragic ways. Many professional athletes have been exposed and many celebrities have professed their life changing experiences.
What is Domestic / Intimate Partner Violence ( IPV ) ? It is the willful intimidation, physical and sexual assault & battery or serious mental and verbal abuse perpetrated by one intimate partner against another.
The frequency and severity of domestic violence varies dramatically and may include physical or sexual violence, threats, and emotional abuse. The violence is often accompanied by irrational and controlling behavior and is intended to result in total dominance and control over the other intimate partner or the other family members.
Current Domestic/ Intimate Partner Violence Statistics:
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Every 9 seconds in the US a woman is assaulted or beaten. Everyday more than 3 women are murdered by their intimate partners.
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1 in 4 women will experience domestic/intimate partner violence in her lifetime. Women ages 18 to 24 are the greatest risk of being victims of domestic/intimate partner violence.
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Every year, over 3 million children witness domestic violence in the home.
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Children who live in domestic violence homes suffer high rates of abuse and neglect (30-60%)
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Intimate partner violence accounts for 15% of all violent crime.
The Worse Fact: Most of all Domestic / Intimate Partner Violence Incidents Are Never Reported! These Abusers are getting away with this abuse and can murder their loved ones at any time!
Legally, the abuser may be deterred from continuing this degrading, hurting behavior against his intimate partner and other family members. But these victims need help. Many times, the domestic violence victims are so weak and beaten down mentally and physically that they cannot help themselves.
Look for warning signs of abuse in relatives, friends and neighbors. Remember: if you are a friend, be their friend. Do something to disclose the abuse and danger in their lives! You may save a life!
Domestic / Intimate Partner Violence – Know the Signs!
Would you know if your good friend from the office or your aunt that lives in Dallas is involved in a domestic / intimate partner violence relationship? Probably not. Many times the abuse starts slowly, is concealed, and accelerates over time.
Domestic violence takes many forms, which include emotional, physical, and sexual abuse. It occurs in heterosexual or same-sex relationships. Husband, wife, children, partners. The most important goal of domestic violence and abuse is to gain and maintain total and unyielding control over the victim.
How do you know if you may be in a domestic / intimate partner violence relationship with your partner?
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Does your partner have a bad or unpredictable temper? Call you horrible names, insult you or put you down?
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Does your partner limit your access to money, the phone, or the car? Are you constantly checked on about your whereabouts?
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Are you discouraged from seeing family members and friends? Does your partner act excessively jealous and possessive without cause or reason?
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Does your partner see you as property or a sex object and force you to have sex at times or in ways against your will?
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Does your partner threaten to take your children away and harm them or to commit suicide if you leave him/her?
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Does your partner blame you for his/her abusive behavior or destroy your belongings?
If you are already in an abusive situation, are your currently living in a hostile environment and:
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Is your abusive partner threating violence
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Has your abuser attacked you with aggressive, belittling, profane, or violent behavior so you know “Who the Boss is”?
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After the abuse, does your partner feel concocted or temporary remorse, guilt and does he/she repeatedly promise to change?
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Your abuser comes up with excuses and blames “you” as the abuser. Does your relationship periodically go back into a” Normal Phase”?
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Is all well until your abuser sets up his/her next situation when he/she can justify abusing you again?
If you are in a relationship with a Domestic / Intimate Partner who is exposing this behavior or you are already having abusive situations, seek help now! Abusive relationships will destroy your self-worth and lead to anxiety and depression. Break free from this relationship by recognizing that such conduct is dangerous, that you are valuable and that you do not have to suffer this emotional pain!
If you are currently in a relationship or marriage with an abusive partner and need legal help, contact a knowledgeable attorney, other shelter or enforcement agency to obtain help.
Texas Prenuptial Agreements
In Texas, Prenuptial Agreements are becoming a very important tool for prospective spouses in the event of future marital problems. With the rise in divorce rates and more boomer/senior remarriages, many people with assets are turning to a marital contract to sidestep a potentially difficult and very expense divorce.
A prenuptial agreement allows prospective spouses to, legally in advance, specifically define rights and obligations to each other and further allows spouses to decide their future marital property rights with relativity minimal judicial actions. A prenuptial agreement, in Texas, can cover any matter except:
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Violate public policy or a statute imposing criminal penalties
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Adversely affect a child’s right to support
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Defraud a creditor
Texas Family Code 4.003(a)(8), (b),4.106(a).
Among the permissible provisions that parties can list in a prenuptial agreement are the following:
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Rights and obligations of any interest, present or future, legal or equitable, vested or contingent, in real or personal property.
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Right to manage, control and dispose, by agreement, property upon separation of the married parties, dissolution of the marriage, death of either party, or other agreed event.
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Modify or eliminate spousal support.
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Specific matters related to prospective spouses, including personal rights and obligations that are not in violation of state laws.
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Choice of a state or country law that will govern the prenuptial agreement.
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Creation of a Will or Trust.
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Disposing of the Estate upon the death of one of the spouses. Also ownership rights and disposition of benefits from a life insurance policy upon the death.
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Waive one party’s right to occupy the family homestead after the other party dies.
Texas Divorce – How Long Will It Take to Get Divorced and Other Important Facts
To file for a divorce in Texas, you must be a Texas Resident for 6 months, and you must have lived within the county you plan to file in for at least 90 days immediately prior to filing of your divorce petition. Time spent by a Texas resident outside of Texas, while in the military, satisfies the residency requirement in Texas for a divorce.
Texas does not recognize legal separations.
It is possible to get a divorce even though the other party does not want the divorce to take place. Texas is a “no fault divorce state.” “No fault” means that one spouse does not have to prove the other spouse has done anything wrong in order to obtain a divorce. You cannot be held to a marriage because your spouse does not want to sign or refuses to participate in the divorce process. The court will enter divorce orders even if the other party refuses to sign them.
Texas requires a minimum 60 day waiting period before any divorce can be finalized. The 60 day period begins to run from the time the Original Petition for Divorce is actually filed with the court. In other words, the shortest time it will take to finalize a divorced in Texas is 61 days. On occasion, in domestic violence cases, there is an exception to the 60 day rule. If the parties are in agreement, a divorce proceeding can be finalized immediately following the sixty-day waiting period. On average, however, the time period is more likely to run 90 to 120 days in an uncontested divorce due to the crowding of court dockets and the time necessary for counsel to draft necessary legal documents and obtain the agreement of both parties regarding the wording of the final documents. If the parties are not in agreement, the time necessary to finalize the divorce will depend on the conduct of both parties and their attorneys, the court’s schedule, the matters in controversy and the complexity of the contested issues. From start to finish, the divorce process may go through a number of phases which might include temporary orders, exchange of financial information, psychological evaluations (in child custody cases), alternative dispute resolution, trial, and appeal. A divorce in which the parties are deeply in opposition to an agreement on some or all of the core issues may take anywhere from several months to several years to complete.
As to the division of marital assets, Texas is a community property state. For more information on community and separate property, see our blog, Divorce: What is separate property and what is community property.
It is important to remember that, although the statutory waiting period to finalize a divorced is 60 days, it is more likely than not that your divorce will “not” be finalized on the 61st day following the filing of your petition for divorce.
Stay at Home Dads – More fathers Are Opting To Stay Home With Their Children
The number of stay-at-home dads is increasing again in the United States! Pew Research Center has just published a new report, “Growing Number of Dads at home with the kids”, and it is impressive! The world is changing and Dads are definitely more hands on quality time with their children.
The major commanding improvements are the number of fathers who stay home with their children under 18. This figure has just about doubled since 1989, and now 16% or 2 million fathers are full time stay-at-home caregivers to their children. This percentage has grown from 10% in 1989.
What are some of the reasons for the strong growth of stay-at-home dads?
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35% are home because of illness or disability
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23% cannot find a job
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21% stay to care for family and home
Even with this increase in stay-at-home dads, 16% of fathers with children still live apart from their kids.
52% of stay-at-home fathers are white, 20% are Hispanic and 16% are black. In addition, and almost equal share of working fathers (48%) and mothers (52%) say they would prefer to be home raising their children, but must work for family income.
