Law Home2024-06-22T18:26:43+00:00
Loading...

Parental Alienation And False & Malicious Domestic Violence Allegations

Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) is a generally recognized platform that may result in child abuse. This occurs when a custodial parent of a child from a separated family uses deception to deliberately alienate children from their non custodial parent.

Misplaced Domestic Violence Restraining and Protective Orders are an excellent tool to advance the Alienating Parent’s malice! Misguided Protective Orders of a Court based on such false representations may remove the Accused Abuser Parent from the home, bar the Accused Abuser from seeing his/her children and give the Alienating Parent total physical custody of the children. The Accused Abuser Parent is now effectively “Guilty Until Proven Innocent”.

Once the Alienator obtains a Restraining Order through false domestic violence allegations, the Accused Abuser Parent may find it difficult to defend himself or herself against the false allegations.  This sends the implied message to the children that “Daddy/Mommy” is bad or dangerous, stamped by the court.

The Accused Abuser Parent may only see his/her children in a cold and uninviting supervised visitation setting. Supervised Visitation Centers are facilities where a child is taken to meet with the Accused Abuser Parent in a third party monitored location.  A third party observes the Accused Abuser Parent during their visit with their children so that the child is “protected” at all times.

Often the supervised visit is demeaning for the visiting parent in the eyes of his/her child.  The impression to the child that “Daddy or Mommy” is dangerous comes across loud and clear since most children only see lock up situations on TV and these people are seriously viewed as being bad.

Many Alienating Parents use this scary situation to encourage their child not to see the Accused Abuser Parent at all. The more time a child is out of contact with the Alienated Parent the deeper the scaring and recovery period for that child.

Dr. Richard A. Gardner coined the term “Parental Alienation Syndrome” (PAS) in 1985. Dr. Gardner found that a child subjected to continual negativity and manipulation by the Custodial Parent over an extended period of time against the other parent would eventually adapt the distorted view presented. At the end of the day, what the Alienating Parent fails to understand is that his/her selfishness makes his/her child the “victim” who pays a hefty price in lost self esteem.

Unfortunately, False Domestic Violence Allegations have become more common in Divorce / Child Custody Proceedings. Most Judges usually enter a restraining or protective order for the safety of the child and in too many cases an Accused Abuser Parent is guilty until proven innocent!

Family Conflicts and the High Conflict Spouse

Divorce Courts are full of conflict laden participants and they are called “High Conflict People” (HCP’s). Are you glad you are not married to one of these people or are you? HCP’s seem very caring and sincere and it may take months or years before a legal professional can identify this personality disorder.  HCPs may cause enormous emotional pain and excessive financial costs to their spouse and children before this disorder is brought to light.

Bill Eddy, legal specialist of the High Conflict Institute, has given a list of:

The High Conflict Personality Pattern of HCP Personalities

  1. Rigid and uncompromising, repeating failed strategies
  2. Unable to heal or accept a loss
  3. Negative emotions dominate their thinking
  4. Won’t  reflect on their own behavior
  5. Can’t empathize with others
  6. Preoccupied with blaming others
  7. Won’t accept any responsibility for problems or solutions

HCP’s stay unproductively connected to people through conflict and will continue to create conflict to maintain any sort of relationship, good or bad.  Since HCP’s undermine all relationships, they constantly repeat their same patterns and usually end up divorcing repeated times.  20-30% of all couples getting divorces have at least one HCP spouse.

According to the High Conflict Institute, HCPS are driven by four primary fees:

  1. Fear of being ignored
  2. Fear of being belittled or publicity exposure
  3. Fear of being abandoned
  4. Fear of being dominated, includes fear of losing control over you, the other spouse, their money/assets, or themselves

What can the spouse of an HCP do to help bring the family conflict or divorce to completion?

  1. Tell your attorney what your bottom line is and stay with your decision.
  2. Maximize any leverage you have and stay on the course.
  3. Choose your battles carefully.
  4. Everything must be in writing.
  5. Work on keeping total & consistent emotional detachment from the HCP.

Just remember the HCP feels that since you are no longer together, and since you know too much about him/her, you must be discredited so that no one will think that they are the problem!

You will need to learn some practical skills on communication and response to your HCP and also when & how to let your attorney deal with this situation, how to enforce your guidelines, and hopefully, your thoughtful and reserved conduct will result in the best possible outcome.

Questions about a legal issue? Ask our experts

Go to Top