The Holidays and Visitation with your Children : Problem Times
The Holiday Season is usually an exciting time for both parents and children alike, but for families split by divorce or separation, the emotion issues from the result of the break-up on the affected family can cause the joy of the season to be overshadowed by much unhappiness and despair!
Unfortunately, most parents wait too long to confirm visitation planning for the upcoming holiday season and a very sad and unhappy family situation occurs. Now is the time to contact Legal Counsel if you cannot work out or are otherwise being deprived of a holiday visitation by your Ex.
Children need to have structure in scheduling the Holiday Visitations to ensure that they will be able to see both parents and share the joy of the season with their entire family. When this goes awry, the children are usually the ones who suffer.
The best gift of the holiday a child can experience is an early proactive arrangement of all holiday plans so everyone knows dates and times for visitation with both Mom and Dad. This Holiday Season vow to keep your child out of the middle of any family conflict and start to develop new holiday traditions with your child and family. Many parents have new relationships/marriages and other children in the family group. The new holiday traditions should include everyone and be a bonding experience for years to come.
Tips on Dealing with Holiday Visitation Issues
-
Make sure your children have positive holiday memories. Shield them from conflicts between warring ex-spouses.
-
Plan ahead now on scheduling the upcoming holiday visitations. Longer the wait, more stress involved!
-
If there is a deviation in holiday schedule this year, make sure it is in writing. Make sure the document shows what times are being exchanged and both parents sign it for future confirmation.
-
Stay flexible and compromise: If you have to work, consider having the kids spend more time with the other parent so they have time with friends. This is a time for new family traditions and changes from old habits. Put aside your differences with your EX and make the children’s time happy with good memories.
-
If age appropriate, ask your children what is important to them during the holidays. There may be a special place or event that is very important to them and try to accommodate this.
-
Sit back and enjoy the Holidays with your children. This is a special time for wonderful bonding and beautiful memories. Do not undermine their holiday by hateful confrontations and fighting.
-
If a potential problem could arise on holiday visitation schedules, make sure you take action legally in plenty of time to consult a legal expert and get the conflict resolved before the holidays commence!
What Are Your Father’s Rights In Texas?
Are you the father of a child in Texas and Mom is refusing to let you see or communicate with your child? Are you paying child support in Texas for your child, yet Mom tries to dominate all interaction between you and the child to suit her needs. Is this Parental Alienation in the present or a step commencing down that path?
Fathers have rights in Texas and because this is one of the more frequent calls we receive from Dads, I thought it was time to discuss some specific law from the Texas Family Code regarding the rights and duties afforded to a Parent, whether Mom or Dad!
Under the Texas Family Code a “Parent” is defined as the mother, a man presumed to be the father, a man legally determined to be the father, a man who has been adjudicated to be the father by a court of competent jurisdiction, a man who acknowledged his paternity under applicable law or an adoptive mother or father.
Tex. Fam. Code Sec. 160, otherwise known as the Uniform Parentage Act, states that a man is presumed to be the father of a child if:
1. he is married to the mother of the child and the child is born during the marriage;
2. he is married to the mother of the child and the child is born before the 301st day after the date the marriage is terminated by death, annulment, declaration of invalidity, or divorce;
3. he married the mother of the child before the birth of the child in apparent compliance with law, even if the attempted marriage is or could be declared invalid, and the child is born during the invalid marriage or before the 301st day after the date the marriage is terminated by death, annulment, declaration of invalidity, or divorce;
4. he married the mother of the child after the birth of the child in apparent compliance with law, regardless of whether the marriage is or could be declared invalid, he voluntarily asserted his paternity of the child, and:
a)the assertion is in a record filed with the bureau of vital statistics;
b) he is voluntarily named as the child’s father; or
c) he promised in a record to support the child as his own; or
5. during the first two years of the child’s life, he continuously resided in the household in which the child resided and he represented to others that the child was his own.
If the above applies to you and you have established legal standing to support that you are “the father,” what are your rights and duties as the Texas Family Code Sec. 151.001 states:
§ 151.001. Rights and Duties of Parent
(a) A parent of a child has the following rights and duties:
(1) the right to have physical possession, to direct the moral and religious training, and to designate the residence of the child;
(2) the duty of care, control, protection, and reasonable discipline of the child;
(3) the duty to support the child, including providing the child with clothing, food, shelter, medical and dental care, and education;
(4) the duty, except when a guardian of the child’s estate has been appointed, to manage the estate of the child, including the right as an agent of the child to act in relation to the child’s estate if the child’s action is required by a state, the United States, or a foreign government;
(5) except as provided by Section 264.0111, the right to the services and earnings of the child;
(6) the right to consent to the child’s marriage, enlistment in the armed forces of the United States, medical and dental care, and psychiatric, psychological, and surgical treatment;
(7) the right to represent the child in legal action and to make other decisions of substantial legal significance concerning the child;
(8) the right to receive and give receipt for payments for the support of the child and to hold or disburse funds for the benefit of the child;
(9) the right to inherit from and through the child;
(10) the right to make decisions concerning the child’s education; and
(11) any other right or duty existing between a parent and child by virtue of law.
Both parents have these rights unless a court order has created, modified, ordered, or delegated the statuary rights of a parent. The rights you have will support and empower you in a hands on relationship with your child.
All parents have the right to have a relationship with their children! One misguided parent may attempt to employ parental alienation to hurt the other parent and cause the child to be denied a loving relationship with the other parent. Know your rights and contact an attorney who can help you and your child fulfill a meaningful relationship!
Behind on Child Support ? Factors on Satisfying Texas Back Child Support Arrearage
In Texas it is the responsibility of a mother and father to adequately support their child. An adequate support usually comes in the form of child support payments monthly. It is a common mistake of judgment to attempt to hide from child support obligations or willfully ignore the obligation. Intentional non-payment gives rise to contempt proceedings
The circumstances regarding the parent’s decision not to pay child support is considered by the court in contempt proceedings. Texas Family Code 154.131 strictly deals with retroactive child support payments. There are four factors a Texas Court will consider when determining how far back a parent must make child support back-payments. They are:
- If the mother of the child had made any previous attempts to notify the obligor (delinquent parent) of his paternity or probable paternity;
- If the obligor (delinquent parent) had knowledge of his paternity or probable paternity;
- If the order of retroactive child support will impose an undue financial hardship on the obligor (delinquent parent) or the obligor’s family; and
- If the obligor (delinquent parent) has provided actual support or other necessities before the filing of the action.
All these factors will be taken into consideration by a Texas Court when determining how far back and how much an individual must pay child support.
If it is reasonable and in the best interest of the child then the Texas Family Code 154.131(c) allows for the Court to assign retroactive child support payments that only extends back 4 years. The option to confine retroactive child support payments to only four years may be contested by the parent requesting the child support. A parent that is contesting the Court’s decision in allowing the delinquent parent to pay back only four years’ worth of back-payments will have the burden of proof to establish:
- The Obligor (delinquent parent) knew or should have known that he was the father of the child for whom the support is sought
And
- The Obligor (delinquent parent) sought to avoid the establishment of support obligation to the child
If, however, a father is delinquent on child support because he did not know of the child’s existence, was told by the mother that his support was not wanted or needed, or the father had been paying a certain amount prior to the filling of the child support then the Court will likely only award retroactive payments of four years or less. If the father has willfully refused or ignored his obligation to pay support and adequately support his child, then the Court has the authority to order that delinquent parent to pay retroactive child support payments dating back to the day the child was born.
Retroactive child support can be complex and tricky considering the multiple circumstances in which this problem may arise. If you find yourself in this predicament and have received a summons to a Texas Child Support Court, then contact an experienced attorney immediately to see what can be done and how to best effetely address this unavoidable issue.
Emotional Abuse in a Marriage
Many headlines are common as to in what ways Domestic Physical Violence and Physical Abuse affects families and individuals. Consider however the silent spoiler of marriage: Emotional Abuse!
Most domestic abuse and violence commences with deliberate on-going negative behavior by one partner/parent against another family member as the abuser demeans and dismantles the victim’s feelings of self-worth and independence.
Just because a person does not end up in the hospital as a victim of physical abuse, emotional scars and a resulting negative self-image may adversely impact the individual for their entire life.
Emotional abuse often includes verbal abuse, controlling behavior, intimidation and isolation. Most emotional abusers will also make multiple violence threats and orchestrate other non-physical types of punishments if their victims refuse to blindly obey.
Since “the Abuser’s Goal is Always Control”, economic/ financial control is one of the most common forms of emotional abuse. Victims have feelings of “no way out” from abusive relationships and strict financial control imposed by the abuser results in spiraling hopelessness.
What are some serious financial control issues to look out for? Do you have a problem?
-
Total controlling of all family expenses.
-
Withholding money and credit cards and strict, unrealistic allowance restrictions.
-
Withholding basic necessities (food, clothing, shelter, medical needs).
-
Controlling your choice of career and prevention or obstruction from gainful employment.
-
Sabotaging your job by constantly calling you, causing problems with your boss or associates, and causing you to miss work.
-
Stealing money from you.
All types of abuse are sick, but emotional abuse the silent spoiler of lives is often overlooked until it is too late. Every family member in these cases may be effected and scared for years. Many children who are tainted by abuse never completely know a normal loving relationship with a partner, spouse, or child since their low self-esteem prevents normal intimacy with others.
Hey Fathers! Beware of Assault and Family Violence
In modern times the District Attorney’s office in Dallas, Collin, and Tarrant County have a zero-tolerance policy on domestic violence towards women. Unfortunately, domestic violence occurs much to frequently in our society. Though helpful in certain situations, this Zero-Tolerance policy has the potential to be abused to gain leverage in a Child Custody proceeding.
A mere allegation, is usually sufficient for the District Attorney to file charges against a man, regardless of the proof. If there is an allegation of abuse reported to the dispatcher and a police officer is sent to a home, then one of the spouses will be heading to jail. If the spouse is a father, this can be detrimental in two ways. First, the arrest for Domestic Violence will open the father up to liability when pursing his rights during a custody battle. Second, a false allegation, tactically placed, may open up a second front on a father, forcing him to defend against the District Attorney’s office for a Class A Misdemeanor.
When a father is accused for domestic violence, he will have to explain this false allegation to the District Judge and furthermore if the Zero-Policy dictates that the District Attorney pursues the allegation, then the father will have to defend himself from the State.
The mere allegation of domestic violence has severe repercussions for fathers’ that are currently fighting a custody battle for their children. The best way to deter such behaviour is to:
- Be vigilant at all times and never visit your Ex-Spouse/girlfriend one on one;
- Never enter a situation to which your Ex-Spouse/girlfriend may claim domestic abuse;
- When picking up your child always have a third-party with you (mother, father, or friend) throughout the duration of the custody case;
- Use “family wizard” when communicating with your Ex-Spouse/girlfriend;
- If your Ex-Spouse/girlfriend threatens to make a false allegation write down the date, time, and location;
It is not healthy to be paranoid of your Ex-Spouse/girlfriend if the relationship is not high risk for domestic violence allegations. You should always attempt to co-parent and amicably resolve disputes with your Ex-Spouse/girlfriend for the betterment of the children. Having said that, there are situations and circumstances in which false allegations may be used to leverage one side during a custody suit. If a false allegation is filed with the District Attorney and you are a father do not expect to receive any sympathy from the District Attorney’s Office.
Julian Nacol
Father’s Rights Attorney
Nacol Law Firm PC
