Parentification and Signs of Alienation
Parentification is a form of Parental Alienation. It is a dynamic in which the roles of parent and child become reversed, to a degree, resulting in the child taking on responsibilities and roles that are typically associated with parental figures. This can occur in both emotional and instrumental (practical) forms. Emotional parentification involves the child taking on the emotional support role of the parent, whereas instrumental parentification involves the child taking on practical duties such as caring for siblings, performing household chores, or managing finances. This coincides with parental alienation and are likely symptoms of other mental issues of the offending parent
Relationship Dynamics in Parentification
In a relationship affected by parentification, the boundary between the roles of parent and child is blurred or inverted. Children may feel a sense of pride and maturity in being trusted with adult responsibilities or being their parent’s confidante. However, this dynamic can severely disrupt the child’s development and affect their emotional well-being. The parent, on the other hand, might rely on the child for support they cannot find elsewhere, often due to their own unresolved issues, stress, illness, or substance abuse problems. This Dysfunctional reversal relation coincides with heaving family law litigation. The parent takes this tactic to vilify the other parent and place the children in the middle to defend the parenting parent. The following issues arise in the family Courts due to the alienating behavior:
Issues Arising from Parentification
- Loss of Childhood: Children who are parentified often miss out on essential aspects of their childhood. They may have limited opportunities to play, explore, and engage in age-appropriate activities with peers, leading to a sense of lost childhood. Unfortunately, the parentification can begin at a younger age but typically will begin around the ages of nine to eighteen when the child can begin taking responsibilities. Many children will lose out on their high school or developmental years due to having the burden of caring for their parent or allegedly protecting their parent due to litigation.
- Emotional and Psychological Impact: The burden of adult responsibilities can lead to anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues in children. They might struggle with self-esteem issues, feeling valued only for what they can provide rather than who they are. These impact are seen in future relationships with the children which continue the pattern of divorce and even through subsequent counseling, the children’s emotional state will never fully heal.
- Difficulty with Boundaries: Children who grow up in parentified roles may have trouble setting and respecting boundaries in their future relationships. They might become overly responsible caretakers or, conversely, may struggle to take responsibility for their actions.
- Relationship Challenges: The reversal of roles can complicate the parent-child relationship, sometimes breeding resentment or anger in the child. It can also affect the child’s future relationships, as they may either avoid caregiving roles or enter into relationships where they are again in a caregiving position, continuing the cycle.
- Educational and Social Impact: The demands of parentification can distract from schooling and extracurricular activities, affecting academic performance and social development. It might also lead to social isolation, as peers may not understand the child’s responsibilities or the child may feel different from their peers.
- Impaired Emotional Development: Children in parentified roles may become adept at caring for others but remain underdeveloped in caring for themselves. They might struggle with identifying and expressing their own needs and emotions.
Addressing the Issues
Breaking the cycle of parentification involves acknowledging the problem, setting appropriate boundaries, and seeking professional help. Therapy can be particularly beneficial for both the parent and the child, helping to address the underlying issues that led to parentification and working to establish a healthier dynamic. Support groups and educational programs can also provide resources and coping strategies.
In severe litigation this can prove expensive, but if the Judge is not shown these alienation tactics the emotional and psychological damage to the children will endure for the rest of their lives regardless of the counseling.
A parent that commits parentification or any other form of alienation usually has narcissistic personality attributes and cares not for the child’s best interest but only painting the other parent in a horrendous light. These issues need to be brought before the Judge at temporary orders to set a parent up to prove these tactics during final Trial.
Julian Nacol
Dallas Fathers Rights Attorney
Dallas TX
(972) 690-3333
Rights and Duties of a Parent – Joint Managing Conservator in Texas
Rights and Duties of a Parent – Joint Managing Conservator in Texas.
Waiver To the Guidelines is a Matter of Court Discretion
As a joint managing conservator of a child in a divorce proceeding in Texas, unless special circumstances arise justifying a variance from the Guidelines, the Court will normally order guideline code rights and duties and a parent will be awarded the following:
1.the right to receive information from any other conservator of the child concerning the health, education, and welfare of the child.
2.the right to confer with the other parent to the extent possible before making a decision concerning the health, education, and welfare of the child.
3.the right of access to medical, dental, psychological, and educational records of the child.
4.the right to consult with a physician, dentist, or psychologist of the child.
5.the right to consult with school officials concerning the child’s welfare and educational status, including school activities.
6.the right to attend school activities.
7.the right to be designated on the child’s records as a person to be notified in case of an emergency.
8.the right to consent to medical, dental, and surgical treatment during an emergency involving an immediate danger to the health and safety of the child.
9.the right to manage the estate of the child to the extent the estate has been created by the parent/conservator or the parent/conservator’s family.
10.the duty to inform the other conservator of the child in a timely manner of significant information concerning the health, education, and welfare of the child; and
11.the duty to inform the other conservator of the child if the conservator resides with for at least thirty days, marries, or intends to marry a person who the conservator knows is registered as a sex offender under chapter 62 of the Code of Criminal Procedure or is currently charged with an offense for which on conviction the person would be required to register under that chapter. IT IS ORDERED that this information shall be tendered in the form of a notice made as soon as practicable, but not later than the fortieth day after the date the conservator of the child begins to reside with the person or on the tenth day after the date the marriage occurs, as appropriate. IT IS ORDERED that the notice must include a description of the offense that is the basis of the person’s requirement to register as a sex offender or of the offense with which the person is charged. WARNING: A CONSERVATOR COMMITS AN OFFENSE PUNISHABLE AS A CLASS C MISDEMEANOR IF THE CONSERVATOR FAILS TO PROVIDE THIS NOTICE.
12.the duty of care, control, protection, and reasonable discipline of the child.
13.the duty to support the child, including providing the child with clothing, food, shelter, and medical and dental care not involving an invasive procedure.
14.the right to consent for the child to medical and dental care not involving an invasive procedure.
15.the right to direct the moral and religious training of the child.
16.Only one parent shall have the exclusive right to designate the primary residence of child in a specific geographical area, which is commonly the county in which the child currently resides and the contiguous counties thereto.
17.the right to consent to medical, dental, and surgical treatment involving invasive procedures may be subject to agreement, an independent right or an exclusive right;
18.the right to consent to psychiatric and psychological treatment of the child may be subject to agreement, an independent right or an exclusive right;
19.Only one parent shall have the exclusive right to receive and give receipt for periodic payments for the support of the child and to hold or disburse these funds for the benefit of the child;
20.the right to represent the child in legal action and to make other decisions of substantial legal significance concerning the child may be subject to agreement, an independent right or an exclusive right;
21.the right to consent to marriage and to enlistment in the armed forces of the United States may be subject to agreement, an independent right or an exclusive right;
22.the right to make decisions concerning the child’s education may be subject to agreement, an independent right a joint right or an exclusive right;
23.except as provided by section 264.0111 of the Texas Family Code, the right to the services and earnings of the child may be subject to agreement, an independent right or an exclusive right;
24.except when a guardian of the child’s estate or a guardian or attorney ad litem has been appointed for the child, the right to act as an agent of the child in relation to the child’s estate if the child’s action is required by a state, the United States, or a foreign government may be subject to agreement, an independent right or an exclusive right; and
25.the right to manage the estate of the child to the extent the estate has been created by community property or the joint property of the parent/conservator may be subject to agreement, an independent right or an exclusive right.
In accordance with section 153.001 of the Texas Family Code, it is the public policy of Texas to assure that children will have frequent and continuing contact with parents who have shown the ability to act in the best interest of the child, to provide a safe, stable, and nonviolent environment for the child, and to encourage parents to share in the rights and duties of raising their child after the parents have separated or dissolved their marriage. The Court will therefore normally establish the primary residence of the child in the county where the child currently resides and/or a contiguous county thereto, and the parties shall not remove the child from such county for the purpose of changing the primary residence of child until there is a modification to the existing order of the court of continuing jurisdiction or a written agreement signed by the parties and filed with the court.
The geographical restriction on the residence of the child may be lifted or modified if, at the time the primary parent with the right to establish residence wishes to remove the child from the county for the purpose of changing the primary residence of the child, the other parent does not reside in that county or a contiguous county thereto.
Time constraints, employment issues of the primary Joint Managing Conservator, and other material factors may come into play when a Joint Managing Conservator requests waiver of the geographical restrictions. It customarily is a very difficult, but not always insurmountable, burden to achieve a geographical restriction waiver. The success, consistency and regularity of the non-primary conservator’s possession and access to the child is a factor the court will view in making a ruling. Frequently, an agreement to adjust the amount of support and/or transportation costs comes into play in resolving such disputes.
NACOL LAW FIRM P.C.
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Dallas, Texas 75231
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Attorney Mark A. Nacol is board certified in Civil Trial Law by the Texas Board of Legal Specialization