Getting a Divorce? Should I Move Out of the Marital Home?
This is a complicated question to answer depending upon the facts of each case. If you have experienced domestic violence you need to immediately do whatever is necessary to secure you and your child’s safety. Many times a victim will go to court for a protective order and ask the judge to move the abusive or violent spouse out. In this situation contact an experienced family law attorney now!
In most cases, absent of violence or risk of abuse, we would not suggest that a spouse move out of the marital residence.
Why is this? One reason is once you have vacated the residence it may be very difficult to get back in! You have no legal obligation to leave the residence if your name is on the lease or mortgage personally and exclusivity.
Our suggestion to a client might be, to remain in the residence since the person who vacates may still have financial obligations and expenses of the family residence, while paying all expenses on a new residence for themselves. Double expenses are not a desirable result during the divorce process.
The higher wage earning spouse who moves out of the marital home must expect to continue to pay most of the household expenses, including the insurance and mortgage! What about the personal property and furnishings in the residence?
If an agreement has not been made between the divorcing couple, the moving spouse will generally only be able to leave with personal belongings (clothing & jewelry) until a court rules fairly as to temporary possession.
Secure a court order ASAP to equalize property and household expenses.
Warning Signs of Divorce – ‘Tis the Season to Know These Signs
As the holiday season approaches and all should be merry and bright, the black clouds are starting to gather for many married couples and families. January is always one of the top months for divorce filings since many people want to change their personal life situations with the start of the New Year.
Instead of receiving a knock on the door in January from a process server with your divorce summons, here are some Divorce Warning Behavior Signals to look for in your spouse that should not be Ignored. In the Nacol Law Firm’s Family Law Practice, I have placed the warning signals by priority from “something is changing” to “we are in serious trouble”:
- Do you have a ”gut feeling” that there is a “defensive aura” between you and your spouse? The marriage is not going well, and your spouse is wanting to end the marriage.
- Has your spouse changed “their look and appearance” in relationship to you or other people? New clothes, new look, new friend? Maybe starting to detach mentally from your marriage?
- Possibly one spouse is now “very busy” and preoccupied with work, texting, private telephone calls with friends and long disappearing shopping excursions with unavailable contact. Maybe Someone does not want to be found?
- You and your spouse are now in a serious stage of “anger” and fight with each other constantly. Maybe a sign of divorce being a real option?
- Suddenly there is no fighting, no communication, and no caring between the partners in this marriage. Does anyone care anymore about the future of divorce for this marriage?
- Money issues seem to start happening with changes in Bank amounts dwindling or new accounts being opened. Credit/debit card amounts are rising as if someone is planning to embark on a new life after a divorce!
If you are seeing two or more of these situations happening in your marriage, there may still be time to save this marriage. Start with meeting in a non-threatening location to talk about agreeing on making some major decisions on staying married or getting a divorce. If this is not possible in your current situation, suggest visiting with an agreed upon marriage counselor and try to work out serious problems in your marriage. It is always worth a try for both of you and your family to try and save the marriage.
Many times, one or both spouses are done with “us” and now want to be “me”. If saving a marriage is totally impossible, then look for a knowledgeable family law attorney who can help you get through this terrible yet sometimes necessary experience.
Nacol Law Firm P.C.
Dallas Fathers Rights Attorneys
(972) 690-3333
Walnut Glen Tower
8144 Walnut Hill Lane
Dallas, Texas 75231
Love and Marriage ….and Divorce!
With the U.S. marriage rate at an all-time low, 51% of adults were married in 2011 (US Census Bureau), only 29% of all divorced adults say they would marry again with women definitely in the negative on remarriage. Americans are also not in a hurry to marry. The median age of first marriages is a record high of 29 for men and 27 for women (US Census Bureau).
So what about the 48% of adults currently married? A new divorce report by the Slater and Gordon Law Firm in England who surveyed 1000 divorcees has reflected some very interesting findings:
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The average person spends about 2 years thinking about getting a divorce before they file.
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During this time the average person spent 18 months really trying to fix their marriage and working to try to save the marriage.
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53% discussed divorce with someone besides their partner before filing.
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36% spoke to an attorney before deciding to file a divorce
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76% tried to fix their marriage problems before deciding on a divorce
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53% said their split was amicable and 45% said they are still friends
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31% have no contact with their previous spouse at all!
How would you fit into this survey?
The Nacol Law Firm PC has expressed 8 of the top causes of Divorce!
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Lack of communication: A successful relationship constantly keeps in touch! When there is a loss of open ended communication on all issues affecting the marriage, families may fall apart quickly. Share your feelings, tell your partner what is happening, and listen to your partner.
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Money and Finances: If there are constant money problems or major disagreements on financial issues, you may have a serious martial problem. A team effort at all times bodes for a better marriage.
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Alcohol and Drug Addiction: Addiction is one of the most damaging and challenging problems spouses will ever face in a marriage. Because additive behavior touches everyone in a family most marriages are severely damaged years before a decision is reached to end the marriage.
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Domestic Violence/ Intimate Partner Violence: Family Violence is the willful intimidation, physical and/or sexual assault & battery or serious mental and verbal abuse perpetrated by one intimate partner against another. The frequency and severity of domestic violence varies dramatically and may include physical or sexual violence, threats, and emotional abuse. The violence is often accompanied by irrational and controlling behavior and is intended to result in total dominance and control over the other spouse /intimate partner or other family members.
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Trust and Infidelity Issues: Do you truly trust your spouse? Are their jealousy issues that occur with one spouse when other people are involved in your lives? A successful marriage is very difficult absent trust. If you do not trust your spouse the marriage is vulnerable!
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Spouse cannot understand or fulfill your needs and desires: this includes personal and sexual needs and common courtesies to each other. We all have different needs and desires. If you or your partner won’t acknowledge each other’s needs and try to accommodate, the marriage is vulnerable!
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Inability to resolve conflict: Often couples have very serious trust issues with each other and cannot get past the needs of one vs the needs of the family. Smart couples will seek out a 3rd party “referee” to help resolve these differences before the marriage is irretrievable.
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Children: Enough said! The married couple must decide on a united front in child rearing and discipline. The child cannot be in charge or subject to multiple contradictory directives!
Deciding to divorce is a very sad and financially devastating family decision. If you and your spouse are still at the point to possibly change things for the better, explore all other opportunities! There was a reason for the initial attraction and your family will love you for it. Otherwise, consult a qualified legal professional who can help guide you through this trying period.
