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Family Conflicts and the High Conflict Spouse

Divorce Courts are full of conflict laden participants and they are called “High Conflict People” (HCP’s). Are you glad you are not married to one of these people or are you? HCP’s seem very caring and sincere and it may take months or years before a legal professional can identify this personality disorder.  HCPs may cause enormous emotional pain and excessive financial costs to their spouse and children before this disorder is brought to light.

Bill Eddy, legal specialist of the High Conflict Institute, has given a list of:

The High Conflict Personality Pattern of HCP Personalities

  1. Rigid and uncompromising, repeating failed strategies
  2. Unable to heal or accept a loss
  3. Negative emotions dominate their thinking
  4. Won’t  reflect on their own behavior
  5. Can’t empathize with others
  6. Preoccupied with blaming others
  7. Won’t accept any responsibility for problems or solutions

HCP’s stay unproductively connected to people through conflict and will continue to create conflict to maintain any sort of relationship, good or bad.  Since HCP’s undermine all relationships, they constantly repeat their same patterns and usually end up divorcing repeated times.  20-30% of all couples getting divorces have at least one HCP spouse.

According to the High Conflict Institute, HCPS are driven by four primary fees:

  1. Fear of being ignored
  2. Fear of being belittled or publicity exposure
  3. Fear of being abandoned
  4. Fear of being dominated, includes fear of losing control over you, the other spouse, their money/assets, or themselves

What can the spouse of an HCP do to help bring the family conflict or divorce to completion?

  1. Tell your attorney what your bottom line is and stay with your decision.
  2. Maximize any leverage you have and stay on the course.
  3. Choose your battles carefully.
  4. Everything must be in writing.
  5. Work on keeping total & consistent emotional detachment from the HCP.

Just remember the HCP feels that since you are no longer together, and since you know too much about him/her, you must be discredited so that no one will think that they are the problem!

You will need to learn some practical skills on communication and response to your HCP and also when & how to let your attorney deal with this situation, how to enforce your guidelines, and hopefully, your thoughtful and reserved conduct will result in the best possible outcome.

Texas Fathers Rights to Establish Paternity of Children Born Out of Wedlock

In the State of Texas there is one birth statistic that continues to rise: The Birth of Out of Wedlock Children! With dropping marriage rates and increasing non-married couples living together, the percentage of children being born out of wedlock is growing yearly. The Texas Out of Wedlock Childbirth rate of 2019 stands at 41.4%. How are the fathers of these children treated? Does a father have any rights to their children? In most states, the mother of a child has 100% of the custody rights until the paternity of the father is legally established.  How does a Texas father legally establish paternity when the mother of their child refuses to allow him to sign the birth certificate and tells him that he will never have any type of communication or relationship with his child?

What are a father’s rights in the State of Texas? 
Any and every right a parent may have is available to a father who seeks them.


How does the father file for paternity of the child in Texas?

1. Paternity Registry (Family Code 160.401-2)

The Texas Paternity Registry was created in 1997 to aid men (potential fathers) who desired to be notified of a proceeding for the adoption of or the termination of parental rights regarding a child that he may have fathered. They may register with the Registry of Paternity. The purpose of the Registry of Paternity is to “protect the parental rights of fathers who affirmatively assume responsibility for their children by registering or acknowledging their children (FC Chapter160, Subchapter E). To sign up with the Registry, the father or suspected father must file a Notice of Intent to Claim Paternity before a child is born or within 31 days of the child’s birth. (see form) https://www.dshs.texas.gov/vs/field/docs/vs130(2).pdf 

Many men use this Registry when a Father and Mother do not have a continuing relationship and the man is not listed as the presumed father on the birth certificate or Acknowledgement of Paternity. 
Other Examples: 

  • Man and woman have a consensual sexual relationship for a brief time and no further contact. Man wants to make sure that if woman becomes pregnant and has a child, he wishes to assert his paternity
  • Man and woman do no agree he is the father of the child. Man wishes to assert paternity.
  • More than one man claims to be the father of the child. Each man would complete a separate Notice of Intent to Claim Paternity. 
  • Mother refuses to complete and sign the Acknowledgment of Paternity form. 

The notice of Intent Claim Paternity form will not legally establish paternity nor be used to add a man’s name to the child’s birth certificate. 


2. Alternate Means to Establish Paternity (Family Code 160.301-2 and 160.402, 160.601)

The mother of a child and a man claiming to be the biological father of the child may sign an acknowledgment of paternity with the intent to establish the man’s paternity.  
An acknowledgment of the paternity must:

  • Be in a record
  • Be signed or otherwise authenticated by the mother and the man seeking to establish paternity
  • State that the child whose paternity is being acknowledged:
    1. Does not have a presumed father or has a presumed father whose full name is stated
    2. Does not have another acknowledged or adjudicated father
  • State whether there has been genetic testing and that the acknowledging man’s claim of paternity is consistent with the results of the testing
  • State that the signatories understand that the acknowledgment is the equivalent of a judicial adjudication of the paternity of the child and that a challenge to the acknowledgment is permitted only under limited circumstances and is barred after 4 year.

A man is entitled to notice of a proceeding regardless of whether he registers with the registry of paternity if:

  • A father-child relationship between the man and the child has been established under this chapter or another law.
  • The man commences a proceeding to adjudicate his paternity before the court has terminated his parental rights.

The parentage of a child may be adjudicated in a civil proceeding by voluntary legitimation.

A Father should be proactive and enforce his rights promptly to enhance his probability of fair and equal treatment that is binding under the law!

Nacol Law Firm P.C
Walnut Glen Building
4188 Walnut Hill Lane #1190
Dallas, Texas 75231
tel: (972) 690-3333
 

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