Parent Alienation in Divorce
In recent years, “parent alienation” has become more prevalent in divorce cases. Parent alienation is the dramatic change in the relationship between a parent and their child when the child is used as a tool by one parent to hurt the other parent. Parent alienation can include much more than brainwashing of a child. In many cases, the child becomes hostile towards the alienated parent as they are fed not just conscious, but subconscious and unconscious, messages by the alienating parent. Frequently, the child will turn on the parent they previously loved and were very close to prior to the institution of the divorce proceeding. In some cases, the alienating parent will go to extreme lengths to keep the alienated parent from seeing the child for long periods of time. Children begin acting out and the situation quickly becomes volatile.
When children are used in such a manner, emotions are quickly aroused and a very simple divorce case can quickly become a highly contested case fueled by resentment and hostility. Parents who are successful in getting primary custody of a child in a parent alienation situation share many similar characteristics and may use some of the following tools to assist them in their defense:
- Keep an even-temper, remain logical and keep your emotions under control. Never retaliate.
- Though you may think of giving up, never do so.
- Go to the financial expense of seeing the case through. Never give up on your child. There can be nothing more important than the happiness of your child.
- Seek help from a skilled attorney who has experience with parental alienation.
- Familiarize yourself with how the courts work and the laws as they apply to your specific case.
- Seek professional help and diagnosis.
- Request a social study into the circumstances of the child
- Request a psychological evaluation of the alienating parent
- Keep a chronology or diary of events (this will help to jog your memory, keep track of witnesses, etc.).
- Document the alienation for submission as evidence in court.
- Keep the best interest of the child at heart.
- Provide the Court with an appropriate parenting plan.
- Make sure you understand the nature of the problem and focus on correcting it, even though you are being victimized.
- Always call and show up for visitation with your child at the scheduled time, even if there is no chance of the child being there.
- Take witnesses to testify that the child is not at home when you exercise your visitation rights.
- Focus on the child, and never talk to the child about the other parent or the divorce case.
- Never violate the Court’s orders.
- If you are receiving disturbing phone calls from the child or the other parent, tape the calls.
- If you are receiving disturbing emails or text messages from the child or the other parent, make a copy and place in a file.
Though none of these tips will guarantee that you get custody of the child, they will definitely assist you in building a case against the parent who is attempting to alienate you from your child.
Addiction Problems in a Marriage
Addiction is one of the most damaging and challenging problems spouses will ever face in a marriage. Because additive behavior touches everyone in a family, most marriages are severely damaged years before a decision is reached to end the marriage.
Most non-addictive members of a family feel helpless because they cannot stop the addict’s downhill spiral that destroys the family eventually resulting in divorce. Addiction hurts the addict, the spouse, children and extended family members.
Some Statistics on Addiction in the US
-The United States accounts for only 5% of the world’s population. However, two-thirds of illegal drugs are consumed in America.
-Approximately 14 million Americans, 7.4% of the population, meet the diagnostic criteria for alcohol abuse or alcoholism.
-Children of addicts or alcoholics are almost 3 times as likely to be verbally, physically. or sexually abused; and 4 times more likely than other children to be neglected.
-1 in 4 deaths in the U .S. can be attributed to alcohol, tobacco, or illicit drug use.
-More than 75% of domestic violence victims report that their assailant had been drinking or using illicit drugs at the time of the incident.
-8 million Americans have eating disorders
-2 million U.S. citizens are estimated to be pathologically, problematic gamblers
-1 to 2 million cocaine addicts in the US
– At least 12 million American spouses suffer from the effects from the effects of living with an addict.
All addictive illnesses are usually progressive and unless help is sought through attained rehabilitation, 12-step programs or other meaningful support, an addict will predictably continue to act in a self-destructive manner. The threat of divorce is usually not enough incentive for the addict to address their addiction.
Protecting Your Business with a Prenup or a Postnup
When couples says “I do” one must be thoughtful of the potential consequences to a Small Business owner. A Small Business owner without proper preparation and/or knowledge may soon be saying “our assets” instead of “my assets”. Small Business owners should closely examine their fiduciary duties to their spouse in reference to community assets that may arise when two individuals acquire a marriage license and marry or marry by common law. A small business owner can protect his/her premarital property by keeping it under their control rather than risking community characterization.
Pre-Nuptial agreements are binding technical contracts that safe-guard an individual’s properties, monies, and business belongings in detail. These contracts may be specific, complex, and meticulous. An attorney should be consulted. The Pre-Nuptial agreement can dictate, regulate or mitigate manage next of:
- The entitlements of spousal support
- The inheritance regarding Insurance Policies
- The specific allocation of resources and properties in a Will, Trust, or Business
- The marital property claims in reference to both parties
- The ability to Own, Sell, Purchase, Rent, Mortgage, and Regulate any Separate or Community Properties
If an individual has married before a Pre-Nuptial contract is executed there is still hope and a path to take in order to insure protection of your small business. A Post-Nuptial agreement protects a Small Business owner’s property after the fact and should be utilized if required or desired. The Post-Nuptial agreement is similar to the Pre-Nuptial agreement but more care and specificity is required since some or all an individual’s assets may have taken on the attributes of community property because of the spouse’s inherent property rights after the marriage has taken place.
There are three major Ante-Nuptial agreements:
1.) Partition and Exchange Agreement: This Agreement regulates the financial allocation of a Small Business allowing monies and stock to remain separate property rather than becoming community property over time. It also separates and characterizes each spouse’s future income. The agreement allows Small Business owner’s the ability to have independent control over their business without empowering or including their spouse in decision making or management.
2.) Agreement Concerning Income from Separate Property: The principal feature of this agreement is to protect an individual’s corpus & income that exists or is produced by their Small Business. Even If there is an existing Post-Nuptial agreement that inhibits a spouse from attaining stocks or money within a specific Small Business, the actual income the Small Business produces may become community and the other spouse is entitled to their share upon dissolution of the marriage. This is tricky, for a Small Business owner is right in believing that the property and assets of the business itself is independently theirs, but he/she is wrong in the assumption that the profit made by their business is independently theirs as well. This Agreement allows a Business Owner to control, manage, and personally own all the income that is realized through his/her company. This Agreement must be signed by the owner and his/her spouse and should be as concrete as possible to avoid problems in any type of litigation process.
3.) Complex Estate Planning: Estate planning is helpful and smart. Many Post-Nuptial agreements allow independent properties to modify the community status of property to attain certain tax breaks that are applied to married couples. This may put a smile on a Small Business owner’s face for a while as he/she reaps the benefits of tax-deductions, but if a divorce occurs these tax exemptions could become proof of the existence of community property to be awarded to his/her spouse. Pre and post marital agreements may not be necessary dependent on specific situations, but if they are necessary the agreements will ensure the control of one’s business assets, income, and properties. The law was created to help ensure the protection of people’s premarital rights. If you are a Small Business owner read up on yours rights and avoid not being taken advantage of by a once loving spouse in the future.
Child Custody across State Lines: Interstate Jurisdiction
During the Holiday season many Texas parents become very concerned over sending their child to the non-primary conservator parent’s home for a visit. Many Children will cross state lines to see their non-primary conservator parent and there is always a fear that the child may not be returned to his/her home state. What can you do if this does happen?
The State of Texas follows a uniform law regarding determination of appropriate state jurisdiction in custody matters known as the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act (UCCJEA), and related statutes which enforce or set procedures regarding proper jurisdiction such as the Parental Kidnapping Prevention Act. Texas has adopted these statutes. The Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction Enforcement Act defines which state has or may maintain jurisdiction in a particular case and often mandates that other states recognize decisions handed down by the state determined to have jurisdiction.
The Act states, among other things, that a court may rule on custody issues if the Child:
• Has continually lived in a home state for 6 months or longer
• Was living in the state before being wrongfully taken elsewhere by a parent seeking custody in another state
• Has an established relationship with people (family, relatives or teachers), ties, and attachments in the state
• Has been abandoned: or is safe in current state, but could be in danger of neglect or abuse in the home state
How can Continuing Exclusive Jurisdiction be lost?
1. When A Texas Court determines that neither the child, or a child and one parent have a significant contact with Texas, and substantial evidence is no longer available in Texas concerning the child’s care, protection, and personal relationships
2. Texas or another state determines that the child and the child parents do not presently reside in Texas.
What about Jurisdiction to Modify an Existing Order?
In the absence of temporary emergency jurisdiction, Texas cannot modify a child custody decision made by another state’s court unless or until a court of this state has jurisdiction to make an initial custody determination and one of the following occurs:
1. Another State determines it no longer has continuing jurisdiction or finds that Texas would be a more convenient forum.
2. A court determines that the child and the child’s parents do not presently reside in the other state.
What about Temporary Emergency Jurisdiction?
Temporary emergency jurisdiction is reserved for very extraordinary circumstances. The court has and may assert jurisdiction only when a child is present in the state and has been abandoned or is in need of protection because of a threat or subjected the child to mistreatment or abuse.
When involved in an international child custody case where the child has been abducted or is wrongfully retained, the issue may be determined if the International Child Abduction Remedies Act, 12 USC Section 11.601-11610, of the Hague Convention, is applicable. If so, The US State Department Office of Citizen & Counselor Services should be contacted or any attorney may file suit for return of the child.
These interstate jurisdiction cases are very intensive. Get to a knowledgeable attorney and assert your rights quickly. Protect you and your child’s rights to have a normal child/parent relationship without the fear of abduction!
Fathers Financial Check List in Preparation for a Texas Divorce
Preparing for a Texas Divorce: Assets
Preparing for a divorce is painful no matter the circumstance. Before you get into the tangle of the Texas divorce process, you can reduce the expense, stress and conflict many people face by making sure you are prepared. Planning ahead allows you to make sound decisions and start preparing for your life post-divorce, and may also help you avoid post-divorce pitfalls. Below is a list of items you need to gather before counseling with an attorney.
Documents
1. A Listing of all Real Property, address and location, including (include time-shares and vacation properties):
1. Deeds of Trust
2. Notes
3. Legal Description
4. Mortgage Companies (Name, Address, Telephone Number, Account Number, Balance of Note, Monthly Payments)
5. Current fair market value
2. Cash and accounts with financial institutions (checking, savings, commercial bank accounts, credit union funds, IRA’s, CD’s, 401K’s, pension plans and any other form of retirement accounts):
1. Name of institution, address and telephone number
2. Amount in institution on date of marriage
3. Amount in institution currently
4. Account Number
5. Names on Account
3. Retirement Benefits
1. Exact name of plan
2. Address of plan administrator
3. Employer
4. Employee
5. Starting date of contributions
6. Amount in account on date of marriage
7. Amount currently in account
8. Balance of any loan against plan
4. Publicly traded stock, bonds and other securities (include securities not in a brokerage, mutual fund, or retirement account):
1. Number of shares
2. Type of securities
3. Certificate numbers
4. In possession of
5. Name of exchange which listed
6. Pledged as collateral?
7. Date acquired
8. Tax basis
9. Current market value
10. If stock (date option granted, number of shares and value per share)
5. Insurance and Annuities
1. Name of insurance company
2. Policy Number
3. Insured
4. Type of insurance (whole/term/universal)
5. Amount of monthly premiums
6. Date of Issue
7. Face amount
8. Cash surrender value
9. Current surrender value
10. Designated beneficiary
6. Closely held business interests:
1. Name of business
2. Address
3. Type of business
4. % of ownership
5. Number of shares owned if applicable
6. Value of shares
7. Balance of accounts receivables
8. Cash flow reports
9. Balance of liabilities
10. List of company assets
7. Mineral Interests (include any property in which you own the mineral estate, separate and apart from the surface estate, such as oil and gas leases; also include royalty interests, work interests, and producing and non-producing oil and gas wells.
1. Name of mineral interest
2. Type of interest
3. County of location
4. Legal description
5. Name of producer/operator
6. Current market value
8. Motor Vehicles (including mobile homes, boats, trailers, motorcycles, recreational vehicles; exclude company owned)
1. Year
2. Make
3. Model
4. Value
5. Name on title
6. VIN Number
7. Fair Market Value
8. Name of creditor (if any), address and telephone
9. Persons listed on debt
10. Account number
11. Balance of any loan and monthly payment
12. Net Equity in vehicle
9. Money owed by spouse (including any expected federal or state income tax refund but not including receivables connected with any business)
10. Household furniture, furnishings and Fixtures
11. Electronics and computers
12. Antiques, artwork and collectibles (including works of art, paintings, tapestry, rugs, crystal, coin or stamp collections)
13. Miscellaneous sporting goods and firearms
14. Jewelry
15. Animals and livestock
16. Farming equipment
17. Club Memberships
18. Travel Award Benefits (including frequent flyer miles)
19. Safe deposit box items
20. Burial plots
21. Items in any storage facility
22. A listing of separate property (property prior to marriage, family heir looms, property gifted)
23. Listing of all liabilities (including mortgages, credit card debt, personal loans, automobile loans, etc.):
a. Name of entity, address and telephone number
b. Account number
c. Amount owed
d. Monthly payment
e. Property securing payment (if any)
f. Persons listed as liable for debt
