Many Fathers are becoming more aware and knowledgeable about home, fatherhood and what this really means to the growth and mental wellness of their children. Whether they live with their child and mom, are a single parent, or as a divorced parent, or co-parent, studies in the last 10 yrs have shown the importance of the involvement of the father in promoting the child’s well-being, especially regarding issues of diet/nutrition, exercise, play and parenting behaviors. Most fathers are present at their child’s birth, even though 40% of births are between unmarried couples.
( AAPpublications.org/news/2016/13/Fathers061316 ).
Today’s fathers are taking a very active role in caring for their children and helping around the house. The share of stay-at- home dads has increased to 17% in 2016, up from 10% in 1989. 68% of fathers who stay at home to care for family are younger than 45. (Pew Report/2018/09/24/Stay-at-home-moms-and-dads). Younger fathers are leading the trend for more quality family time with their children. Sadly, 63% say they spend too little time with their kids, with only 36% says they spend the right amount of time with their children (www.pewsocialtrends.org/2017/10/18/methodology-12/). Could this be because many of these younger fathers were raised in divorced or single parent families?
Pew Research Center 6/13/2018 published a new survey on “7 Facts about American Dads” and this is very eye opening. Here are some of the more interesting items:
- 57% of Fathers see parenting as central to their Identity and 54% report parenting is rewarding all the time.
- Dads are more involved in child care averaging about eight (8) hours weekly on child care and 10 hours a week on household chores, which is about triple the time provided in 1965.
- Work-Family balance challenge for Fathers: 52% of Fathers say it is difficult, but 48% of dads say they need the income for the family.
- Who is the better Care Giver? Mom or Dad? 53% of Adults still say Mom, but 45% of Adults now say fathers and mothers do equally well.
- Most Americans (64%) say men and women have different approaches to parenting. 56% of Americans say the gender difference in parenting is a Good Thing.
- Seven-in ten adults say it’s equally important for new babies to bond with both their father and mother. 49% of adults said employers put more pressure on Fathers to return to work quickly after the birth or adoption of a new child.
This is really a good time to be a Dad! Public Opinions are changing about who is the better parent for the child’s growth, influence and advancement to healthy, positive adulthood. In the legal arena, States Legislatures and Courts are working on changing obsolete laws and statues favoring one parent over another and trying to work on having more even opportunities for both parents to equally raise their child.
If you are a father and having problems with having or enforcing your rights with your child, don’t give up. You are important to your child. Find a caring Attorney who can help.
Nacol Law Firm PC
Dallas, Tx 75231
The Nacol Law Firm P.C. is committed to helping parents have the right to have frequent and continuing contact with their child.
Sometimes you can settle, SOMETIMES YOU FIGHT FOR YOUR RIGHT!
We can help!
Fathers Rights and Interstate Jurisdiction Attorneys – Dallas Tx
In a Texas child custody agreement, interstate jurisdiction refers to the state which has the legal authority to enforce and modify a Texas child custody agreement. The state that has jurisdiction decides your Texas child custody case.
For help with a child custody case that crosses state lines, contact a qualified interstate jurisdiction attorney to make sure your rights are protected!
Times have changed! Mothers’ having primary custody of the children is not always the accepted social presumption as in the past. Courts, legislatures and juries are becoming more aware of the vital necessity of father’s being involved in the lives of their children. Children with positive father involvement have fewer behavior problems, higher levels of sociability, and perform better in school.
Recent research suggests that father involvement is essential to a child’s social, moral, and physical growth during the adolescent period. A father’s involvement during pregnancy affects multiple areas of child development and family well- being, from prenatal care, to the likelihood that the father will provide ongoing financial and emotional support. This body of research is gaining momentum. Local and regional governmental agencies are focusing more and more on parental father involvement in the lives of children.
As a result of the continuing evolution of fathers’ rights, Courts are now recognizing a father’s ability to care for his children as an equal to that of the mother. Starting out on an equal plane, the Court may look to which parent is more stable, has a superior income, has a parenting plan in place for the child and is capable of providing proper child care and spending more quality time with the child.
As a father, how can you increase your chances of getting child custody in Texas? You must be a good father and spend time with your children by involving yourself in their daily lives. You need to be responsible and reliable to the needs of your kids. Know and participate in all aspects of their lives. This includes school activities, doctor’s appointments, extracurricular events and getting to know and bonding with their friends.
Reflect on your own personal experiences as a child growing up and think about what was really important to you and your parent’s interaction during that period.
If a father voluntarily gives up rights to his children based on prejudices of the past in the Court system, he will feed a mother’s confidence and sponsor unnecessary ongoing litigation. The number one mistake made by fathers in the court system today is a failure to take the time to learn how the system works. Failing to learn how the family law system works may doom your case. Once you have learned the ins and outs of the family law system you will need to form a viable plan, set goals and never relent in enforcing your rights as a father.
Five of the biggest mistakes men make in a legal action are: 1) failing to respond to the legal action itself; 2) obtaining incorrect legal advice (from friends and family rather than a legal expert); 3) signing a settlement agreement that is not in agreement with and later deeply regretting it; 4) failing to perform under the actual settlement agreement signed; and 5) getting frustrated and/or acquiescing to unreasonable demands and orders.
Some of the things you may want to consider as you prepare for the custody battle are as follows:
- Who has the financial ability to best care for the child(ren)? Be sure to have income tax verification, W-2 Forms and other financial information available.
- Form a parenting plan (child care, after school care, transportation, pediatrician, etc.).
- Who is more stable and/or can provide the best home for the child (ren)?
- Where has the child (ren) been attending school? Is it possible to keep the child in the same school district?
- Prepare a chronology of events leading up to the divorce including treatment of the child(ren), time spent with the child(ren), activities with the child(ren), the child(ren)’s schedule.
- Consider if a home study should be prepared regarding each home of the child.
- Consider whether a psychological evaluation should be done on the mother?
- Is drug testing necessary? (Be sure to request hair follicle drug testing.)
- Is there an alcohol or other addiction problem in the home?
- Who can provide the best moral upbringing for the children?
- Is there evidence such as pictures, video tapes, etc. that may help your case?
- Avoid unnecessary compromising photos or data on Facebook or other social networking sites.
List any other relevant issues you feel may be important to your child custody case before you meet with an attorney about your rights as a father.
It is 2019 and many fathers are facing a regrettable and inevitable DIVORCE! Either through Mom’s decision or Dad’s, it may be the end of a joint family life that includes both parents in one residence. No one is ever happy, but by doing some research and trying to make reasonable decisions, fathers will persevere and hopefully you will be able to maintain your loving relationship with your children and family.
Some things to remember:
- Your children love you and just because you are no longer living with their mom, doesn’t change your love. You keep your opinions to yourself and not share all your adult thoughts with your children. YOU LOVE THEM AND ALWAYS WILL! NOTHING HAS CHANGED IN YOUR INTEREST OR LOVE FOR YOUR Children. Mom is no longer in your home and love with the children. She has her own relationship with the family now.
- You do have definite rights to your children. When the decision has been made to file for divorce, employ an experienced attorney to help guide you through this process. Negative statements, even when true, ARE NOT HELPFUL! Uninformed opinions from your soon to be ex, concerning your rights with the children, are suspect, since you now are on opposing sides. A very knowledgeable Fathers Rights Attorney is up to date on all current issues in Fathers Rights domestic litigation and the courts, and this is who you should listen to for guidance.
- As the divorce proceeds and behaviors by the divorcing couple become hostile and estranged, just remember that self-control and acting rationally, without anger, will help in eliminating future ammunition to be used against you in the divorce and custody case. Self-control in your behavior and attitude will help you keep an upper hand in the Divorce proceeding and help the outcome.
- Finally, you are not the victim! Don’t lay down dead and let Mom run over you! There is life after the death of a marriage and you will learn that not only may your life be better, but your life with your children will be enhanced! The children will have watched you act like an adult and parent who loves them and wants the best for them, but also wants a good life with them in the after-divorce life.
Now the Divorce process has begun. Either you or your wife have “Lawyered Up” and the Legal Process has begun! Some very good advice to consider following at the beginning of a Divorce:
- Get your financial documents in order: Review our blog “Prepare for Your Divorce” to start getting ready in the financial part of the divorce. Subject to the outstanding standing order of the court, be sure to protect all joint bank accounts and open new ones for your individual use. Also, if indicated and necessary, delete spouse from all your credit and charge cards.
- Depending on the age, meet with your children and discuss what is happening to your family. Make sure they know that your relationship with them will never change and you will always be their father and show this by loving actions and affections. Confirm that you are divorcing their Mother, not them.
- Stay on your best behavior during this stressful time. Watch your consumption of alcohol intake and try to stay in good company. You need to show that you are not the aggressor. Never let Mom provoke you into a stressful situation where you may engage in a public spectacle with any form of emotional, physical or sexual abuse against Mom or others. The Judge or jury would not be impressed!
- If you have not hired an attorney, now is the time to “lawyer up”. You need to find a competent attorney who has a good reputation dealing with fathers and their rights to their children. Look on legal websites and blogs to see if an attorney relates to your legal needs. Check on fathers’ rights blogs and see if an attorney has answered questions about a similar family situation as yours and has suggested good solutions to help resolve the issues. Give this attorney a call and set up a consultation to see if he/she would be a fit for your legal need.
- If life and divorce pressures are making you depressed, search out for help with supportive family or friends, clergy or professional counselors. Studies have concluded that Divorce is one of the most stressful events in an individual’s life. Get the support you need to be able to make wise decisions and to promote honest interaction with others during this most stressful time.
Like death, Divorce is one of life’s worst events. Know that this difficult time will someday be over, but also along this path there will be unknown surprises and events, that will test your honesty and dignity as a father and a parent. But in the end, you will make it and still be the father that you need to be to your children.
Stay Calm. This too shall pass….
Nacol Law Firm P.C.
Dallas Fathers Rights Attorney