Misplaced Domestic Violence Restraining and Protective Orders are an excellent tool to advance the Alienating Parent’s malice! Misguided Protective Orders of a Court based on such false representations may remove the Accused Abuser Parent from the home, bar the Accused Abuser from seeing his/her children and give the Alienating Parent total physical custody of the children. The Accused Abuser Parent is now effectively “Guilty Until Proven Innocent”.

Once the Alienator obtains a Restraining Order through false domestic violence allegations, the Accused Abuser Parent may find it difficult to defend himself or herself against the false allegations.  This sends the implied message to the children that “Daddy/Mommy” is bad or dangerous, stamped by the court.

The Accused Abuser Parent may only see his/her children in a cold and uninviting supervised visitation setting. Supervised Visitation Centers are facilities where a child is taken to meet with the Accused Abuser Parent in a third party monitored location.  A third party observes the Accused Abuser Parent during their visit with their children so that the child is “protected” at all times.

Often the supervised visit is demeaning for the visiting parent in the eyes of his/her child.  The impression to the child that “Daddy or Mommy” is dangerous comes across loud and clear since most children only see lock up situations on TV and these people are seriously viewed as being bad.

Many Alienating Parents use this scary situation to encourage their child not to see the Accused Abuser Parent at all. The more time a child is out of contact with the Alienated Parent the deeper the scaring and recovery period for that child.

Dr. Richard A. Gardner coined the term “Parental Alienation Syndrome” (PAS) in 1985. Dr. Gardner found that a child subjected to continual negativity and manipulation by the Custodial Parent over an extended period of time against the other parent would eventually adapt the distorted view presented. At the end of the day, what the Alienating Parent fails to understand is that his/her selfishness makes his/her child the “victim” who pays a hefty price in lost self esteem.

Unfortunately, False Domestic Violence Allegations have become more common in Divorce / Child Custody Proceedings. Most Judges usually enter a restraining or protective order for the safety of the child and in too many cases an Accused Abuser Parent is guilty until proven innocent!

As a joint managing conservator of a child in a divorce proceeding in Texas, unless special circumstances arise justifying a variance from the Guidelines, the Court will normally order guideline code rights and duties and a parent will be awarded the following:

1.the right to receive information from any other conservator of the child concerning the health, education, and welfare of the child.

2.the right to confer with the other parent to the extent possible before making a decision concerning the health, education, and welfare of the child.

3.the right of access to medical, dental, psychological, and educational records of the child.

4.the right to consult with a physician, dentist, or psychologist of the child.

5.the right to consult with school officials concerning the child’s welfare and educational status, including school activities.

6.the right to attend school activities.

7.the right to be designated on the child’s records as a person to be notified in case of an emergency.

8.the right to consent to medical, dental, and surgical treatment during an emergency involving an immediate danger to the health and safety of the child.

9.the right to manage the estate of the child to the extent the estate has been created by the parent/conservator or the parent/conservator’s family.

10.the duty to inform the other conservator of the child in a timely manner of significant information concerning the health, education, and welfare of the child; and

11.the duty to inform the other conservator of the child if the conservator resides with for at least thirty days, marries, or intends to marry a person who the conservator knows is registered as a sex offender under chapter 62 of the Code of Criminal Procedure or is currently charged with an offense for which on conviction the person would be required to register under that chapter.  IT IS ORDERED that this information shall be tendered in the form of a notice made as soon as practicable, but not later than the fortieth day after the date the conservator of the child begins to reside with the person or on the tenth day after the date the marriage occurs, as appropriate.  IT IS ORDERED that the notice must include a description of the offense that is the basis of the person’s requirement to register as a sex offender or of the offense with which the person is charged.  WARNING:  A CONSERVATOR COMMITS AN OFFENSE PUNISHABLE AS A CLASS C MISDEMEANOR IF THE CONSERVATOR FAILS TO PROVIDE THIS NOTICE.

12.the duty of care, control, protection, and reasonable discipline of the child.

13.the duty to support the child, including providing the child with clothing, food, shelter, and medical and dental care not involving an invasive procedure.

14.the right to consent for the child to medical and dental care not involving an invasive procedure.

15.the right to direct the moral and religious training of the child.

16.Only one parent shall have the exclusive right to designate the primary residence of child in a specific geographical area, which is commonly the county in which the child currently resides and the contiguous counties thereto.

17.the right to consent to medical, dental, and surgical treatment involving invasive procedures may be subject to agreement, an independent right or an exclusive right;

18.the right to consent to psychiatric and psychological treatment of the child may be subject to agreement, an independent right or an exclusive right;

19.Only one parent shall have the exclusive right to receive and give receipt for periodic payments for the support of the child and to hold or disburse these funds for the benefit of the child;

20.the right to represent the child in legal action and to make other decisions of substantial legal significance concerning the child may be subject to agreement, an independent right or an exclusive right;

21.the right to consent to marriage and to enlistment in the armed forces of the United States may be subject to agreement, an independent right or an exclusive right;

22.the right to make decisions concerning the child’s education may be subject to agreement, an independent right a joint right or an exclusive right;

23.except as provided by section 264.0111 of the Texas Family Code, the right to the services and earnings of the child may be subject to agreement, an independent right or an exclusive right;

24.except when a guardian of the child’s estate or a guardian or attorney ad litem has been appointed for the child, the right to act as an agent of the child in relation to the child’s estate if the child’s action is required by a state, the United States, or a foreign government may be subject to agreement, an independent right or an exclusive right; and

25.the right to manage the estate of the child to the extent the estate has been created by community property or the joint property of the parent/conservator may be subject to agreement, an independent right or an exclusive right.

In accordance with section 153.001 of the Texas Family Code, it is the public policy of Texas to assure that children will have frequent and continuing contact with parents who have shown the ability to act in the best interest of the child, to provide a safe, stable, and nonviolent environment for the child, and to encourage parents to share in the rights and duties of raising their child after the parents have separated or dissolved their marriage.  The Court will therefore normally establish the primary residence of the child in the county where the child currently resides and/or a contiguous county thereto, and the parties shall not remove the child from such county for the purpose of changing the primary residence of child until there is a modification to the existing order of the court of continuing jurisdiction or a written agreement signed by the parties and filed with the court.

The geographical restriction on the residence of the child may be lifted or modified if, at the time the primary parent with the right to establish residence wishes to remove the child from the county for the purpose of changing the primary residence of the child, the other parent does not reside in that county or a contiguous county thereto.

Time constraints, employment issues of the primary Joint Managing Conservator, and other material factors may come into play when a Joint Managing Conservator requests waiver of the geographical restrictions.  It customarily is a very difficult, but not always insurmountable, burden to achieve a geographical restriction waiver.  The success, consistency and regularity of the non-primary conservator’s possession and access to the child is a factor the court will view in making a ruling.  Frequently, an agreement to adjust the amount of support and/or transportation costs comes into play in resolving such disputes.

Supervised visitation takes place between the non-custodial parent and his or her child(ren) in the presence of a third party who observes the visit to ensure the child’s physical and emotional safety.  Though sometimes reasonably and successfully ordered, visits voluntarily supervised by friends and family in their homes can be fraught with danger for the child and parent, as well as the monitor, especially in cases of domestic violence.  Family members may trust the parent whose visits are being supervised and therefore may not take proper or sufficient measures to assure the child(ren) are watched or monitored at all times during the visit. 

Consequently, when supervision is indicated, possession/visitation supervised by a neutral third party with the capacity to enforce effective safety measures is normally ordered and enforced by the courts.  The expenses of such supervision are often excessive and may in themselves create a detriment to possession by a parent.  Such agencies may also provide reports and recommendations to the court based on the success or failure of the supervised visits.  Such recommendations assist the courts in making informed decisions regarding supervision and whether continued supervision in the best interest of the child(ren).

If supervised visitation is requested, some type of compelling reason and evidence, based on the circumstances surrounding the child(ren) must normally be established.  Such evidence may include denial of access, drug addiction, mental or physical abuse, neglect, or severe mental illness of a parent.  The following is a potential list of acts and/or circumstances that may be considered contrary to a child’s best interest.

• Violence or physical endangerment – A noncustodial parent may be denied visitation rights if the parent has abused the child or threatened physical violence.
• Emotional harm – Where sufficient proof is offered of potential emotional harm or that standard visitation has detrimentally affected a child’s welfare, supervised visitation may be ordered.
• Child’s wishes – A court may consider the child’s wishes as to visitation.  The weight given to a child’s preference is dependent on the child’s age, emotional stability, maturity and motives.
• Abduction – There must be a showing that there is a strong imminent probability of abduction to limit visitation on this basis.
• Substance abuse – A parent who abuses drugs or alcohol may be ordered to supervised visitation restrictions if the conduct endangers the child or if the parent uses abusive language and/or mistreats the child.
• Mental illness –Mental incapacity may be a reason for supervised visitation only if it is determined by the court that there is a reasonable potential for harm to the child due to such mental illness.
• Sexual behavior – Courts rarely deny visitation solely on the basis of a non-marital heterosexual relationship.  Courts will, however, cancel overnight visitation by a child with a parent because of the parent’s cohabitation on a showing of an adverse and material negative impact on the child.
• Incarceration – Visitations due to incarceration may be suspended only on a showing that such visits are detrimental to the child.

To have more of your questions answered on supervised visitation in Texas, or for answers to any other Texas child custody concerns you may have, call  Dallas Divorce attorney Mark Nacol of the Nacol Law Firm P.C.

Both federal and state wiretapping laws apply to divorcing spouses.  A spouse may sue the other spouse or their agents for invasion of privacy.  Federal law regulates electronic surveillance of conversations and access to emails, faxes and voicemail.  The law imposes civil and criminal sanctions for intentional interceptions of electronic communications.  However, accessing email after it has been transmitted, i.e. downloading a text from your telephone or email from the hard drive of a family computer, is not an offense under the Federal Act.  Texas has laws that also prohibit the interception of communications.  Under such laws, counsel may also be held liable if they disclose information received from the intercepted communications provided by their clients.

Federal and Texas laws both allow recording of telephone calls and other electronic communications with the consent of at least one party to the communication.  Under the one-party consent statutes, a spouse may record conversations in which he or she is participating.  This has been extended to include parental recording of a child’s conversations with a third party, including the other parent.  The parent can consent to the recording on behalf of the child so long as the parent has a good faith objective and a reasonable belief that it is in the best interest of the child, even if the child is unaware of the recording.

It is important that a spouse take great care in their means and methods of gathering information.  Information obtained by illegal means can expose one, even if he or she is a spouse, to civil liabilities and possible criminal prosecution.  Texas recognizes that every person has a certain right to privacy.  Such right is violated if a person intentionally intrudes upon the private affairs of another by offensive means.  Accessing stored email or secretly recording a spouse can be a violation of a spouse’s right to privacy.  If a suit is filed, the damaged spouse may recover monetary damages, including punitive damages.

For answers to your questions on gathering information for your Texas Divorce, contact Dallas fathers rights attorney Mark Nacol with the Nacol Law Firm, P.C.

Parental Alienation Syndrome is the systematic denigration by one parent with the intent of alienating the child against the other parent.  In most cases, the purpose of the alienation is to gain custody of a child and exclude involvement by the father.  In other cases the mother wants the father out of the way to start a new life, the mother wants more of the money and assets than she is entitled to and uses the children as pawns.  The mother hates the father and the children become false weapons.  These are just a few reason Parental Alienation occurs in domestic disputes.

Parental Alienation Syndrome is common because it is an effective device for gaining custody of a child.  Trough systematic alienation, one parent may slowly brainwash a child against the other parent.  The parent involved in such alienation behaviors then gains misplaced loyalty of the child. 

There are two types of Parental Alienation Syndrome, medical and legal.  Medical Parental Alienation Syndrome is a form of emotional child abuse.  Parents in hostile separations may suffer depression, anger and anxiety or aggression.  The expression of these feelings often takes on a form of withdrawing love and communication.  This extends to the children through the custodial parent.  It is a mechanism employed to stop the father from having contact with his children; and can be described by the mother holding the children “hostages,” afraid of the mother, and obeying her as a means of survival.  The child may also be instilled with false memories of the father, may be coached and/or brainwashed.  Parental Alienation Syndrome is recognized by the courts but is very difficult to define and in most cases requires bringing in County Social Services, Child Protective Services, and/or other professionals.  Anyone claiming Parental Alienation Syndrome should look for family therapy as a constructive way forward.  Other forms of abuse are physical, sexual, and neglect and are much easier to identify. 

It is important no matter how bad the alienation becomes that you strategize to create a line of contact with your children, the mother and anyone connected to them.  Having a plan is critical.  When a father loses contact with his children he goes from disbelief, to despair, anger, depression, confusion and a total sense of social injustice.  Having a plan means looking at the situation logically, rather than emotionally. 

1.  The first stage is to look for direct contact with the mother and children. Can you meet, write, or phone? 
2.  If you are not allowed contact, can a relative contact the mother or children on your behalf?
3.  Can you contact your children through church, school, clubs, sports activities, or daycare?
4.  Can you participate in your children’s activities?
5.  Do you have a non-suggestive witness that can go with you when you exercise your visitation rights?
6.  Is there a local grocery store where you can purchase something to have a receipt stating the date and time you were in the area?
7.  Will the police make a report stating that you attempted to exercise your visitation?
8.  Whenever possible take video and pictures.

In cases of Parental Alienation Syndrome it is important that you document everything.  Keep a diary or timeline.  Write important events down on a calendar.

If you are a victim of Parental Alienation Syndrome, contact an attorney. Discuss your options.  Formulate a plan to move forward.  Do not give up your parental rights as a father.

When children are used in such a manner, emotions are quickly aroused and a very simple divorce case can quickly become a highly contested case fueled by resentment and hostility.  Parents who are successful in getting primary custody of a child in a parent alienation situation share many similar characteristics and may use some of the following tools to assist them in their defense:

• Keep an even-temper, remain logical and keep your emotions under control.  Never retaliate.
• Though you may think of giving up, never do so.
• Go to the financial expense of seeing the case through.  Never give up on your child.  There can be nothing more important than the happiness of your child.
• Seek help from a skilled attorney who has experience with parental alienation.
• Familiarize yourself with how the courts work and the laws as they apply to your specific case.
• Seek professional help and diagnosis.
• Request a social study into the circumstances of the child
• Request a psychological evaluation of the alienating parent
• Keep a chronology or diary of events (this will help to jog your memory, keep track of witnesses, etc.). 
• Document the alienation for submission as evidence in court.
• Keep the best interest of the child at heart.
• Provide the Court with an appropriate parenting plan.
• Make sure you understand the nature of the problem and focus on correcting it, even though you are being victimized.
• Always call and show up for visitation with your child at the scheduled time, even if there is no chance of the child being there. 
• Take witnesses to testify that the child is not at home when you exercise your visitation rights.
• Focus on the child, and never talk to the child about the other parent or the divorce case.
• Never violate the Court’s orders.
• If you are receiving disturbing phone calls from the child or the other parent, tape the calls.
• If you are receiving disturbing emails or text messages from the child or the other parent, make a copy and place in a file.

Though none of these tips will guarantee that you get custody of the child, they will definitely assist you in building a case against the parent who is attempting to alienate you from your child.

Generally, in a fault-based divorce, the court may consider the conduct of the errant spouse in making a disproportionate distribution of the marital estate.  Young v. Young, 609 S.W.2d 758, 761-62 (Tex. 1980).  This does not mean that fault must be considered.

The Texas Family Code sections 3.02 and 3.07 provide six circumstances when a divorce decree may be granted in favor of one spouse.  These include the traditional fault grounds for divorce of cruelty, adultery, and abandonment.  These sections were codified by the Legislature into the Family Code along with section 3.01 which provides for “no-fault” divorce based on insupportability because of discord or conflict of personalities that destroys the legitimate ends of the marriage relationship and prevents any reasonable expectation of reconciliation.

Texas courts have considered the following factors when equitably dividing a community estate: 

1. fault in breakup of the marriage;
2. the benefits that the innocent spouse would have derived had the marriage continued;
3. disparity in the spouses’ income and earning capacities;
4. each spouse’s business opportunities;
5. differences in the spouses’ education;
6. physical health and need for future support;
7. the relative ages of the parties;
8. each spouse’s financial condition and obligations;
9. the size of each spouse’s separate estate and any expected inheritance;
10. the nature of the spouses’ property;
11. the rights of the children of the marriage;
12. waste of community assets or constructive fraud against the community;
13. gifts by one spouse to the other; and
14. tax liabilities.

The court need not divide the community estate equally.  Smallwood v. Smallwood, 548 S.W.2d 796, 797 (Tex. Civ. App. – Waco 1977, no writ).  The court has a broad discretion in making a just and right division, and absent a clear abuse of discretion, such decision will not be disturbed.  Murff v. Murff, S.W.2d 696, 698-99 (Tex. 1981); Boyd v. Boyd, 131 S.W. 3d 605, 610 (Tex. App. – Fort Worth 2005, no pet.) 

When there is no evidence or insufficient evidence to support the property division or an award of attorney’s fees, the appellate court must reverse or remand such decision for a new trial.  Sadone v. Miller-Sadone, 116 S.W.3d 204, 208 (Tex. App. – El Paso 2003, no pet). 

A party who seeks to assert the separate character of property must prove that character by clear and convincing evidence.  Clear and convincing evidence is that measure or degree of proof that will produce in the mind of the trier of fact (judge or jury) a firm belief or conviction as to the truth of the allegation. 

In a popular decision Phillips v. Phillips, 75 S.W.3d 564 (Tex. App. – Beaumont 2002, no pet.), Chief Justice Walker opined that because legislature has now authorized “no fault” divorce, fault could no longer be considered in dividing community estate.  However, In Re Brown, 187 S.W.3d 143, 2006 Tex. App. LEXIS 686 (Tex. App. Waco 2006) states that what is “just and right” in dividing the property should not depend on the ground on which the divorce is granted; the just and right division of property is separate from the dissolution issue. If one spouse’s conduct causes the destruction of the financial benefits of a particular marriage, benefits on which the other spouse relied, a trial court should have discretion to consider that factor in dividing the community estate – regardless of the basis for granting the divorce.

To prove a disproportionate division of assets in a divorce case, counsel must put on clear and convincing evidence.  Without such support, there will be no disproportionate division of community estate.  The circumstances of each marriage dictate what factors should be considered in the property division upon divorce.

Courts, legislatures and juries are becoming more aware of the necessity of father’s being involved in the lives of their children.  Children with positive father involvement have fewer behavior problems, higher levels of sociability, and perform better in school.

Recent research suggests that father involvement during pregnancy affects multiple areas of child and family well- being, from prenatal care initiation and mother and child health outcomes, to the likelihood that the father will provide ongoing financial and emotional support.  This body of research is gaining momentum.  Local and regional governmental agencies are focusing more and more on parental father involvement in the lives of children.

As a result of the changes taking place in society today, the Courts are now recognizing a father’s ability to care for his children as becoming equal to that of the mother.   Starting out on an equal plane, the Court may look to which parent is more stable, has a superior income, has a parenting plan in place for the child and is capable of providing proper child care and spending more quality time with the child.

If a father ignorantly gives up rights to his children based on prejudices of the past in the Court system he can feed a mother’s confidence and sponsor unnecessary ongoing litigation.  The number one mistake made by father’s in the court system today is a failure to take the time to learn how the system works.  Failing to learn how the family law system works may doom your case.  Once you have learned the ins and outs of the family law system you will need to form a plan, set goals and never relent in enforcing your rights as a father.

Five of the biggest mistakes men make in a legal action are: 1) failing to respond to the legal action itself;  2) obtaining incorrect legal advice (from friends and family rather than a legal expert);  3) signing a settlement agreement they are not in agreement with and later deeply regretting it;  4) failing to perform under the actual settlement agreement signed; and  5) getting frustrated and/or acquiescing to unreasonable orders. 

Some of the things you may want to consider as you prepare for the custody battle are as follows:

1. Who has the financial ability to best care for the child(ren)?  Be sure to have income tax verification, W-2 Forms and other financial information available.
2. Form a parenting plan (child care, after school care, transportation, pediatrician, etc.).
3. Who is more stable and/or can provide the best home for the child(ren)?
4. Where has the child(ren) been attending school?  Is it possible to keep the child in the same school district?
5. Prepare a chronology of events leading up to the divorce including treatment of the child(ren), time spent with the child(ren), activities with the child(ren), the child(ren)’s schedule.
6. Consider if a home study should be prepared regarding each home of the child.
7. Consider whether a psychological evaluation should be done on the mother?
8. Is drug testing necessary?  (Be sure to request hair follicle drug testing.)
9. Is there an alcohol or other addiction problem in the home?
10. Who can provide the best moral upbringing for the children?
11. Is there evidence such as pictures, video tapes, etc. that may help your case?
12. Avoid unnecessary compromising photos or data on Facebook or other social networking sites.

List any other relevant issues you feel may be important to your case before you meet with an attorney.

The most important thing to remember is that your failure, if based on dated concepts and inapplicable worn out prejudices, will be her victory and your parental failure.