13
Jan
2012

Preparing for a Texas Divorce

Preparing for a Texas Divorce - Part 1: Assets 
 
Preparing for a divorce is painful no matter the circumstance.  Before you get into the tangle of the divorce process, you can reduce the expense, stress and conflict many people face by making sure you are prepared.  Planning ahead allows you to make sound decisions and start preparing for your life post-divorce, and may also help you avoid post-divorce pitfalls. Below is a list of items you may want to gather before counseling with an attorney.

Documents

  1. A Listing of all Real Property, address and location, including (include time-shares and vacation properties):
    1. Deeds of Trust
    2. Notes
    3. Legal Description
    4. Mortgage Companies (Name, Address, Telephone Number, Account Number, Balance of Note, Monthly Payments)
    5. Current fair market value
  2. Mineral Interests (include any property in which you own the mineral estate, separate and apart from the surface estate, such as oil and gas leases; also include royalty interests, work interests, and producing and non-producing oil and gas wells.
    1. Name of mineral interest
    2. Type of interest
    3. County of location
    4. Legal description
    5. Name of producer/operator
    6. Current market value
  3. Cash and accounts with financial institutions (checking, savings, commercial bank accounts, credit union funds, IRA’s, CD’s, 401K’s, pension plans and any other form of retirement accounts):
    1. Name of institution, address and telephone number
    2. Amount in institution on date of marriage
    3. Amount in institution currently
    4. Account Number
    5. Names on Account
  4. Publicly traded stock, bonds and other securities (include securities not in a brokerage, mutual fund, or retirement account):
    1. Number of shares
    2. Type of securities
    3. Certificate numbers
    4. In possession of
    5. Name of exchange which listed
    6. Pledged as collateral?
    7. Date acquired
    8. Tax basis
    9. Current market value
    10. If stock (date option granted, number of shares and value per share)
  5. Closely held business interests:
    1. Name of business
    2. Address
    3. Type of business
    4. % of ownership
    5. Number of shares owned if applicable
    6. Value of shares
    7. Balance of accounts receivables
    8. Cash flow reports
    9. Balance of liabilities
    10. List of company assets
  6. Retirement Benefits
    1. Exact name of plan
    2. Address of plan administrator
    3. Employer
    4. Employee
    5. Starting date of contributions
    6. Amount in account on date of marriage
    7. Amount currently in account
    8. Balance of any loan against plan
  7. Insurance and Annuities
    1. Name of insurance company
    2. Policy Number
    3. Insured
    4. Type of insurance (whole/term/universal)
    5. Amount of monthly premiums
    6. Date of Issue
    7. Face amount
    8. Cash surrender value
    9. Current surrender value
    10. Designated beneficiary
  8. Motor Vehicles (including mobile homes, boats, trailers, motorcycles, recreational vehicles; exclude company owned)
    1. Year
    2. Make
    3. Model
    4. Value
    5. Name on title
    6. VIN Number
    7. Fair Market Value
    8. Name of creditor (if any), address and telephone
    9. Persons listed on debt
    10. Account number
    11. Balance of any loan and monthly payment
    12. Net Equity in vehicle
  9. Money owed by spouse (including any expected federal or state income tax refund but not including receivables connected with any business)

10.  Household furniture, furnishings and Fixtures

11.  Electronics and computers

12.  Antiques, artwork and collectibles (including works of art, paintings, tapestry, rugs, crystal, coin or stamp collections)

13.  Miscellaneous sporting goods and firearms

14.  Jewelry

15.  Animals and livestock

16.  Farming equipment

17.  Club Memberships

18.  Travel Award Benefits (including frequent flyer miles)

19.  Safe deposit box items

20.  Burial plots

21.  Items in any storage facility

22.  A listing of separate property (property prior to marriage, family heir looms, property gifted)

  1. 23.  Listing of all liabilities (including mortgages, credit card debt, personal loans, automobile loans, etc.):
          1.  Name of entity, address and telephone number
          2.  Account number
          3.  Amount owed     
          4.  Monthly payment
          5.  Property securing payment (if any)
          6.  Persons listed as liable for debt
17
Jan
2011

Torn Apart – Children and Divorce

Despite the difficulties faced in a divorce, the children should not be placed in the center of the crossfire.  During the divorce process, and sometimes following the divorce process, it is not uncommon for a parent to become so wrapped up in anger, vengeance or simply being “right” that they forget the effect the whole process is having on the children.  Below are some behaviors to avoid and some suggestions to assist you with improving your communications during the divorce process:

  1. Do not use children as messengers between “mom” and “dad.”
  2. Do not criticize your former spouse in the presence of your children because children realize they are part “mom” and part “dad.”
  3. Resist any temptation to allow your children to act as your caretaker.  Children need to be allowed the freedom to be “children.”  Taking on such responsibility at an early age degrades their self-esteem, feeds anger and hinders a child’s ability to relate to their peers.
  4. Encourage your children to see your former spouse frequently.  Promote a good relationship for the benefit of the child.
  5. Do not argue with your former spouse in the presence of the children.  No matter what the situation, the child will feel torn between taking “mommy’s” side and “daddy’s” side.
  6. At every step during the divorce process, remind yourself that your children’s interests are paramount, even over your own. 
  7. If you are the non-primary parent, pay your child support.
  8. If you are the primary parent and are not receiving child support, do not tell your children.  This feeds a child’s sense of abandonment and erodes their stability.
  9. Remember that the Court’s view child support and child custody as two separate and distinct issues.  Children do not understand whether “mommy” and/or “daddy” paid child support, but they do understand that “mommy” and/or “daddy” wants to see me.
  10. If at all possible, do not uproot your children.  When a family is falling apart, a child needs a stable home and school life to buffer the trauma.
  11. If you have an addiction problem, whether it be drugs, alcohol or any other affliction, seek help immediately.  Such impairments inhibit your ability to reassure your children and give them the attention they need.
  12. If you are having difficulty dealing with issues relating to your former spouse, discuss such issues with mental health professionals and counselors.
  13. Reassure your children that they are loved and that they have no fault in the divorce.

Though these steps are not all-inclusive, they will assist you in dealing with the complex issues of a divorce and hopefully minimize the impact of the divorce process on the children.

19
Oct
2010

I Need A Father – (A Fathers Role in Child Custody)

The number of fathers caring for their children is growing at a rate almost twice that of single mothers.  The bottom line is more men are choosing to be hands-on fathers.  In addition, presumed joint custody — or shared custody by both parents of children of divorce — is now the law of the land in most states.

Scores of research have documented the positive effects of a father’s involvement in a child’s life.  Regrettably, currently approximately 30% of American children live without their father’s involvement in their life. 

As the number of women in the work force has increased, some men appear to have become more involved in fatherhood and show greater interest in child-care responsibilities.   With more women in the workplace than ever before — 68% of women with children under 18 — divorce courts in most states are not simply awarding custody and care of children to mothers by default.  In some cases, the mother has neither the time, nor the will, to care full time for her offspring. In other cases, she may not have the financial means.  The gradual progress towards leveling the playing field for women at work has resulted in slowly leveling the playing field at home.  The law is beginning to catch up as well. Divorce laws of more and more states are taking into account the importance of children maintaining relationships with dads as well as moms after divorce.

Following is a sample of what other sources have had to say about the risks faced by fatherless children:

  • 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes (Source: U.S. D.H.H.S., Bureau of the Census)
  • 85% of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes (Source: Center for Disease Control)
  • 80% of rapists motivated with displaced anger come from fatherless homes (Source: Criminal Justice & Behavior, Vol 14, p. 403-26, 1978.)
  • 71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes (Source: National Principals Association Report on the State of High Schools.)
  • 70% of juveniles in state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes (Source: U.S. Dept. of Justice, Special Report, Sept 1988)
  • 85% of all youths sitting in prisons grew up in a fatherless home (Source: Fulton Co. Georgia jail populations, Texas Dept. of Corrections 1992)

After economic factors are excluded, children reared in fatherless homes are more than twice as likely to become male adolescent delinquents or teen mothers.

Recent studies have suggested that children whose fathers are actively involved with them from birth are more likely to be emotionally secure, confident in exploring their surroundings, have better social connections with peers as they grow older, are less likely to get in trouble at home and at school, and are less likely to use drugs and alcohol. Children with fathers who are nurturing, involved, and playful also turn out to have higher IQs and better linguistic and cognitive capacities.

The divorce process is difficult for all involved.  It is far better for the children if the parents are able and willing to place them outside of difficult divorce issues.  Children want to run and laugh and play.  In many cases they are not mature enough to process adult issues.  Keep heated issues between the adults and away from hearing range of the children.  No matter how angry a parent is, they should promote the children viewing the other parent in a positive light.  Children need positive role models.  Even if a parent feels the other parent has wronged them, it is just as wrong for that parent to take away the ability for their children to have a parent they can be proud of and look up to.